


Professional Jealousy (The Black Propaganda Remix)

by ishafel



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 10:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1548095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishafel/pseuds/ishafel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Making it all better is pretty much John's job description.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Professional Jealousy (The Black Propaganda Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bironic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bironic/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Professional Jealousy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18085) by [bironic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bironic/pseuds/bironic). 



> Title is from Van Morrison's "Professional Jealousy".

The thing about McKay is that he's a full time job. John polices the chocolate pudding cups, he keeps track of the blue to black pen ratio, he's an ombudsman and an apologist and a sometime hostage negotiator and he's constantly on the alert for citrus, like some kind of orange-sniffing contraband patrolling bloodhound. Also he has to keep Rodney satisfied in bed, which is pretty awesome most of the time, but incredibly exhausting.

And it's not like this is the only thing he has going. He's the military commander of Atlantis, when he isn't double-checking that no one has taken the last of the M.R.E.s with the apple pie flavored glop or refereeing an argument about Caprica Six vs. Buffy. So the truth is, sometimes he slips up. Sometimes he misses things, and that's on him.

Mail Day is something else, something unpredictable and terrifying (for John) and infuriating (for Rodney) and the subject of intense gambling (for everyone else.) Sometimes everything that comes is harmless, sometimes Rodney finds pictures of Madison in her ballerina princess costume adorable and laughs at what passes as cutting-edge research in scientific journals these days. Sometimes these exact same things are enough to cause Rodney to have an epic meltdown and sulk for weeks.

Even a the best of times having a relationship with Rodney McKay is a little bit like playing Russian Roulette with a loaded gun; on Mail Day it's like playing Russian Roulette with a gun that has only one empty chamber. Before he started sleeping with Rodney, John used to get so bored. McKay is better entertainment than dropping bombs in the Sandbox at night while having R.P.G.s fired at you. 

McKay is better-- is amazing, actually-- in a lot of ways, which is why John puts up with the hoarding and the fighting and the Sam Carter shrine and the drama of Mail Day. But he's capable of blowing up in John's face, too, and the blast radius is insane, which is why even while John's flipping through his packet of mail, reading the covers of the magazines and flipping through the comic books, he's keeping an eye on Rodney to gauge the potential for explosion.

Rodney's in the corner by himself (good, for containment purposes) staring at the shiny cover of a book, and the expression on his face is somewhere between horror and fascination. He's like a cat watching a small child, and John knows that means it's time to move before someone loses an eye.

“What's up?”, he asks, squinting at the book in Rodney's hand. _The Pluto Files_. God, he hopes this is porn, and not physics. 

But as soon as Rodney opens his mouth John knows it's going to be physics, something esoteric involving wormholes and dark matter. And then Rodney starts talking and it's even worse. Worse than the time Rodney's brother-in-law won the Booker Prize, worse than the pictures of Madison on the Small World ride at Disney World (doesn't Jeannie know how scarring something like that can be?!) This is Nobel bad.

This is Tyson, the man Rodney McKay considers his nemesis. The man who, despite everything, refuses to take Rodney seriously, which is the biggest insult of all. John signals Ronon to stand down before he drags McKay out into the hallway and-- Jesus Christ how is this his life-- into an extremely convenient alcove.

John doesn't have much hope that he can talk Rodney down, and as it turns out, he can't. Rodney is a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them, and diplomacy's never been John's strong suit anyway. That's okay. Talking has always been the least effective thing John can do with his mouth.

This isn't all that much different from flying choppers in Afghanistan; he can feel his heart beat faster as he leans in toward his target. It's working. He can feel Rodney's attention shifting, the weight of Rodney's gaze on his lips. As tough as Rodney is to work with most of the time-- and as much as John likes him he's well aware that if Rodney were replaceable he'd have been murdered a long time ago-- the guy is incredibly sweet and easy in bed (albeit insatiable.) 

So it's no hardship for John to lean closer still, no hardship for him to kiss Rodney softly and sweetly there in the shadows with _The Pluto Files_ digging into John's ribcage. Rodney tastes like chocolate pudding and when John pulls away he dives in for another kiss, and this one is hot and hungry and his hands are sliding down John's back. It's not until the book slides down and lands on the floor, spine bent and pages crumpled, that they remember where they are.

They end up in Rodney's room, because the bed is bigger, and just as John is wiggling out of his BDUs he remembers he left Ronon holding his mail. By then he doesn't care. Rodney's mouth is on his neck and Rodney's hand is on his dick and John's just as glad to stop thinking altogether.

Afterward he lies next to Rodney and listens to him talk, which is usually how things end for them. Rodney might be distracted by sex for a while but it never lasts. But he's gone from bitter to bittersweet; John can actually hear him cheering himself up. Rodney's an optimist-- he just doesn't like anyone to know. 

And it would take a harder case than Rodney to stay depressed with John Shepphard in his bed, John thinks, with only the faintest trace of smugness. 

It isn't until John's almost asleep that he remembers where else he's heard the name Tyson lately. He's going to have to get up in the middle of the night and edit Rodney's Facebook settings again. It's a good thing Rodney left his tablet in the mail room-- it means Ronon will have it. John can get it and his copy of _Surfing_ at the same time. There's an article on the Great Barrier Reef that looks pretty good. 

P.S.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/124200494@N06/14074191592)


End file.
